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| Saturday, July 09, 2005 |
For a start...me got a new job promoting paint...yes get it...P.A.I.N.T. As in those which you use to paint walls, doors, ceilings etc. Yup....that's right. Pay's pretty good....$10 an hour and i only work 3 hours a day in the wee hours in the morning from 8-11 am. I have absolutely NO IDEA why they get clueless girls like us who know NOTHING about paint to promote their products. And we have to wear denim skirts which are supposed to be ABOVE THE KNEE, which should make us look more feminine and help us promote our products better. Sounds like selling some skin n legs to me. Duh. Oh well....if you consider the main customers of paint to be those painters - ah bengs who come to the shop and could be excited at the prospect of seeing pretty young girls in a paintshop and freebies like cans of beer and parking coupons and hence buy more cans of paint as a result....that doesnt seem so exciting to me after all. Oh well........whatever it is, it's just a job, and there's always the sales person who will be looking after us. Hopefully it wont be so bad la. 3 hours a day, $10 an hour.....hopefully everything gets done before i know it. And there's commission too..... Feel like backing out....but i need the $$.....so bear with it for a while ba. And as what the company says, for that 3 hours, it is STRICTLY a sales job. Dearie's going on attachment really soon. Sigh.....dont want him to go but im totally helpless. I will miss him definitely...just as i do now....and i will miss him more as time passes. Convinced him to come back to hall after IA, he agreed reluctantly....if not i dunno what i would do.......just wallow in self-pity in my hall room with an unknown roommate. Sighhhhh.....life in hall is not going to be so good after all. Especially after being almost like Siamese twins for the past 2 sems. I havent really dined with anyone else in hall other than him for the past year....even if i had....it's my schoolmates while my dearie's at school, or hallmates with my dearie around. Wonder how's life gonna be like without him in hall. Dearie's upset today.....said that i kinda took him for granted. I totally agreed. I think i do. That's why i always tell him not to treat me so well. The better the way he treats me, the more im gonna to take that for granted. And no matter how hard he tries not to dote on me....he always gives in to me in the end. Sighhhhhh...i feel like a spoil brat. I get whatever i want at home.....and i get whatever i want outside home....and it's all because of him. I know he loves me....so much to the extent that he will do everything he can to make me happy. I totally appreciate that and yet i dont want him to do so. Cos once im put in that position, i wont EVER wanna to be out of that comfort zone again. I'm a spoilt brat........i cant stand it and i really wanna deny it....but i cant. I am. I hate being one.......yet i cant help being one. My dearie loves me, my family loves me, and i take advantage of that. Not on purpose - like i meant to take them for granted, but i can't help it. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........where does that put me then? i dunno...... Im really sorry, for being so spoilt and taking things for granted. I always make it a point to not do it again tomorrow...but then when tomorrow comes....i always do it again. Can someone help me to kick off this habit? MY mummy gave me a good scolding in taiwan. The time i cried publicly on the streets of taipei and refuse to stop. I know i have a lot of reflection to do....and i did. But that didnt last for too long i gues...only a few days. I wish someone would scold me, hit me, whatever, just to get me to my senses again. Tell me i CANNOt take things for granted ever again, that i shouldnt assume the status quo of things....cos once i lose something, i can never get it back. NEVEr EVER. I hate myself....i really do.....and i doubt myself sometimes But one thing's sure.......i do love you darling....very much indeed.....and i do love my family too. The loss of any one of those will tear my heart to shreds........and i do hope that that day would never come....... |
| allie ♥ 4:36 PM |
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