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| Tuesday, January 08, 2008 |
http://wadwordscantsay.blogspot.com/ Was reading through a friend's blog and talking to her about her problems. Realised that hers was much more serious than mine. Yet, she wish to give him one more chance, cos she cant bear to let him go. Thoughts flooded my mind...wondering what would i do if i were her....wondering what could i have done to make my own situation better then. But again, it doesnt matter anymore. Things done wrong in the past cant be corrected, but lessons can be learnt from it. I wish i could drill this into myself and practise what i preach...im trying...but it takes a tremendous amount of effort and steely determination. Feel like giving up and succumbing sometimes...cos it's like fighting an uphill battle...but still gotta do what's best for oneself. Ended on the 29th Hope lost on the 3rd Accepted reality on the 4th Detaching myself - in progress Was deleting some old messages and came across those sent on the 25th..."nothing cannot be solved, together" and "i really hope things to be good and better for us" keeps ringing bells in my head. Wonder if i hadnt give that idea, or agreed on that result, would things be different. Ok, whatever. It doesnt matter. It's a done deal. Close the book. Yep, trying hard to do so while getting used to life like it is now. Had a wonderful loooooooooong chat with mummy yesterday. Talked about everything - my dad, my bro, our family, me and what happened to us. She seemed genuinely concerned and accepting of that fact. Somehow a part of me had been wishing for this to happen...too bad it came late...still, better late than never. At least i now know. Love mummy alot...especially the changed mummy minus her temper. She doesnt shout at me now...and listens instead...wonderful change....and made me feel a whole lot better. Me, sat quietly and listen to her talk too....she must have been lonely when we dont have time to sit and chat with her. Other than those i've told her yesterday....i feel like telling her more. I wanna be a little girl and cry in her arms...feels like home again. This time of the day is always bad...the worst time of the day other than mornings. Tears threaten to fall at this time, but after awhile it will be fine. Perhaps like a friend said "you will get used to it" after some time ba. Immunity is good in this case...looking forward to that. Mummy knows Allie always cries. Allie loves to cry. Allie's easily hurt. But Allie always picks herself up after a fall doesnt she? Allie doesnt give up does she? Only time will tell... Quote of the day "What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger" |
| allie ♥ 8:33 PM |
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