I realised i've always been complaining about how sad my life is....how badly bullied i am by others.....sounds a lot like self pity.
Can't help it...i feel that way, and so i write about it. But mum once told me that i should never think that way. And that i should think about things in a more positive light. I wonder if being a Piscean does contribute to all this as well, as Pisceans are sensitive and emotional people. Any slight hint of sarcasm and they can detect...and it gets me down for a loooong while. But then again, it seems that im falling prey to the fundamental error of attribution - blaming outside courses for my own actions. Maybe i really should think about how i react to things, people and words.....
Been trying to let things go instead of keeping them inside and repeatedly thinking about negative thoughts. But it's not easy. When something hurt you so much, it's really really hard to let go. Even trying to look at things from a more positive point of view is a tremendous task. I can't help thinking the way I do. But i do wanna try to stop thinking the way i do. Cos it's making me feel down, making me feel terrible, making me feel that im worthless. But things don't happen overnight. Don't expect too much from me when you don't understand how i feel. I need time. I've been trying for some time and it hasn't work. It won't happen overnight without any help rendered. Demands, demands and more demands. Just cut me some slack. I'll thank you for that. |
