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| Monday, March 03, 2008 |
Am i not doing enough? I told her I'm trying, and I feel that i did make some progress, but to her, that's not enough. Learnt so much from Boi...after seeing how he's like with his family members. I try to do the same, but it just ain't enough. I havent been gaming in months...and once i start, she complains. To her, i'm not supposed to face the comp when i come home. I'm not supposed to go out late anymore(even when i've been doing so for the past 5 years or so). I'm not supposed to bring my frustrations back home. I'm not supposed to flare up at home. I'm supposed to respond to her each and every need (even when i didnt hear it =X). I'm supposed to talk to her whenever i feel down (even when she looks moody most of the time). I'm supposed to be happy all the time. I try...really, i do. She asked why are we not happy. I was stunned. I kept telling her that we are, both my bro and I. We are happy. There are times when we voice out our unhappiness at certain things...but that doesn't mean we are not happy. Does smiling necessarily mean we are happy? I think everyone knows the answer. At a time when things are not going the way i want them to, when the shoulder i need is not there, everything's compounded together. I see a shadow of myself in her....and i don't wanna go down that same path. I wonder how I can help her...how to meet her expectations. She wants us to live better than she did...i understand that...but how do i let her know that we already are? And that we are very blessed the way we are now? I'm glad i found my God, my tower of strength. I know i'm not alone. Quoting what pastor said,"It doesn't matter how you start. What matters is how you end." Words are powerful indeed. |
| allie ♥ 10:56 AM |
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