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| Tuesday, August 11, 2009 |
Needed to get all these outta my system before i go crazy. Came back from Redang with a lovely mind and relaxed spirit, all ready to start afresh, all set to tell you everything that i've been meaning to. Not only do i not get the opportunity, everything became my own fault. Things have constraints because you constrained them. I never believed in "never" because everyone has a choice, are able to make decisions that change an outcome. I always believed it's a decision to do something, rather than attributing it to something within our "self" that can't be changed. That's a simplistic and rather lazy point of view. Now it's my fault for not giving a the chance to work things out. Even when the cause was the "walking away" that did it. But eventually, it's ME, my fault. Yes, like i said, i will accept it gracefully...and exit your life. Since you ARE happier this way and will have no regrets. I'm gone, for good. And for all my well-meaning intentions, this is how i'm treated. And for all the empty promises, this is how they're fulfilled. And for all that i did despite you walking away. I showed up and waited, and waited, and waited, to no avail. The things i made, so that i could say sorry, can be thrown away right now. I feel betrayed, let down, disappointed, hurt....no words can describe how bloody stupid i feel right now. Everything that was supposed to happen, didn't happen. Why did everything lead to this? Because you first walked away...and you have to blame everything on me. If it makes you happy, yes it's me. All that i said, about the things i wanted to say and do, remain empty words to you. Other words seem to take priority. The beautiful images and scenarios in my head, will now remain as scenarios. I will always remember this day as the day you tell me "no regrets". Thank you very much...goodbye... |
| allie ♥ 1:55 PM |
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