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| Thursday, February 28, 2008 |
If the heart is always searching, Can you ever find a home? I've been looking for that someone, I'll never make it on my own. Dreams can't take the place of loving you, There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true When you look me in the eyes, And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright, When you're right here by my side. When you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven. I find my paradise, When you look me in the eyes. How long will I be waiting, To be with you again Gonna tell you that I love you, In the best way that I can. I can't take a day without you here, You're the light that makes my darkness disappear. When you look me in the eyes, And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright, When you're right here by my side. When you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven. I find my paradise, When you look me in the eyes. More and more, I start to realize, I can reach my tomorrow, I can hold my head high, And it's all because you're by my side. When you look me in the eyes, And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright, When you're right here by my side. When I hold you in my arms I know that it's forever I just gotta let you know I never wanna let you go When you look me in the eyes. And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright, When you're right here by my side. When you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven. I find my paradise, When you look me in the eyes. Oh ........................................................... Me in my world of music. You know...i get it...i already got it. Already understood and internalised. However it's not easy. Everything's still as vivid as ever in my mind. The expression i saw on his face the first time we went out, the second time at High, the resident evil movie, blading at east coast and many more. Take it away, take it all away from me. Kor asked me if i can start a cold war and make it last a week - The answer is No, I can't. I will always give in after awhile...sorely lacking in willpower. Just like how i always say i wanna stop blogging...but in the end I came back every single time...haha...that's...just...me... |
| allie ♥ 8:42 PM |
It wasn't exactly a total success, but i guess it was an okaaayyy effort =X. And i used my My Melody bento box for the first time...hee here's a picture of today's bento: .JPG) .JPG) I added some chocolate cornflakes my aunt made for my family too. It was really pretty with the rainbow sprinkles! Will try harder to make it taste better next time! Need some more practice...haha...but looking at my pretty My Melody plus homecooked food makes me happy already :). So many things going on at work today. A colleague of mine is leaving us soon...sadly =(. She's a really nice girl who takes care of her fellow colleagues and helped me alot during my so-far short sting at the company. Will definitely miss her though...wish her all the best for her future. In addition, there will be a new colleague coming in soon too. Looks like the office dynamics will change. I wonder how it's gonna be like =X. Client crisis strikes back! ROAR! And this time i'm handling most of it. I can pretty much handle it by myself, though it reminded me of many other things. Had a difficult phone call today...one which put me in a difficult position and despite trying hard to appease the other party, I felt that it wasn't done too well. Sigh...wondering how to do that more effectively...lots to learn in this area. Oh well, got lotsa encouragement from the other colleagues and my boss, which was cool. I really hope everything comes to a close very soon. So tired.... Stuck in between two parties with opposing opinions is definitely not easy. I'll have to handle it even more independently when my colleague leaves. Gotta jiayou le... |
| allie ♥ 12:07 AM |
| Wednesday, February 27, 2008 |
She wondered, why don't love and relationships last forever? I wonder too, actually. The line that striked me most: "Find someone who loves you for exactly who you are" :) Colleagues said i got many 桃花. Lol...but i only want my 棉花 >.< only i know what that means. Otherwise, i'm not exactly keen. Can't Hold On by Melee Someone cries and it washes the street with tears But when they are mine, they collect in my head for years Rain or shine, still I'm standing on all I said 'Cause it's in my soul, carry on when the feeling's dead But if you can't hold on Let it go and come back in your heart And if you can't hold on Maybe it's not time for you And if you can't hold on On your very last try I'll be there in the morning to pull you through Someone dies late at night and I never know And even if I did, so afraid of the face I'd show I feel trapped and enslaved to this dark contrast Need a feeling now, give me something that's going to last I want to be free I want to be free I want to be free Yes, I want to be free I want to be free Yes, I want to be free Oh, I want to be free Yes, I want to be free You say you want to be free But you can't fool me You say you want to be free Oh, but you can't fool me You say you want to be free But you can't fool me You say you want to be free Oh, but you can't fool me Oh, and if you can't hold on You can't hold on (Can't hold on) You can't hold on (Can't hold on) I'll be there, I'll be there Oh, and if you can't hold on Let it go and come back in your heart And if you can't hold on Maybe it's not time for you And if you can't hold on On your very last try I'll be there so you know that you're not alone |
| allie ♥ 12:46 AM |
| Monday, February 25, 2008 |
I've decided...to stop pretending...and to be honest with myself. It didnt just hurt, it was revolting (literally), really. Felt the urge to puke when i saw it this morning. Almost marred my day...but i'm glad it didn't in the end. Why do people love? Cos they crave to be loved back, for love to be reciprocrated. Whenever it's one way traffic, it's never gonna last. No one loves someone forever knowing that he/she will never love you back (at least no one that i know of). There's always hope involved when you love someone...a hope deep inside for he/she to love you back. Silly allie's thinking that she could do what she thought of doing...is seriously flawed. There's only one end to that - misery. Pessimistic view of things...but yeah. There's always a rainbow at the end of a storm. And there are lessons allie should learn: 1. To be honest with herself 2. To say goodbye 3. To say no (when you have to) 4. To love herself more 5. To be strong (in times of adversity) 6. To be brave (in facing the music) 7. To 看开一点 8. To build on her strengths 9. To not worry about things she can't control 10. To open her eyes to what is happening around her Sometimes i wonder why a person can have such an effect on me. Influenced me so much that i didn't know i can be influenced so easily. Haha... Girls always dream of fairytales. I've had my fairytale...but no fairytale ending. Fairytales only happen in books you read about...never in reality. That's why you can only dream, isn't it? Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie La Da Da Da Da The smell of your skin lingers on me now You're probably on your flight back to your home town I need some shelter of my own protection baby To be with myself and Center, Clarity Peace, Serenity I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We've got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've got to get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry The path that I'm walking I must go alone I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they? And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We've got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've got to get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Like the little school mate in the school yard We'll play jacks and UNO cards I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine Yes you can hold my hand if you want to 'Cause I want to hold yours too We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds But it's time for me to go home It's getting late, dark outside I need to be with myself and Center, Clarity Peace, Serenity I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We've got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've got to get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry |
| allie ♥ 8:02 PM |
| Sunday, February 24, 2008 |
Everytime i feel better, i find something that hurts again. I don't understand...why? I just hope...no one else gets hurt... Sorry by Buckcherry Oh I had alot to say Was thinking on my time away I missed you and things weren't the same 'Cause everything inside it never comes out right And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die. I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue I'm sorry about all the things I said to you And I know I can't take it back I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds And baby the way you make my world go 'round And I just wanted to say I'm sorry. This time I think I'm to blame It's harder to get through the days We get older and blame turns to shame 'Cause everything inside it never comes out right And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die. I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue I'm sorry about all the things I said to you And I know I can't take it back I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds And baby the way you make my world go 'round And I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Every single day I think about how we came all this way The sleepless nights and the tears you cried It's never too late to make it right Oh yeah sorry I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue I'm sorry about all the things I said to you And I know I can't take it back I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds And baby the way you make my world go 'round And I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry baby, Yeah. I'm sorry. |
| allie ♥ 11:20 PM |
 Pic courtesy of Mayu :) |
| allie ♥ 12:20 AM |
| Saturday, February 23, 2008 |
tired of the mental and emotional struggle... and the last thing i need...is more stuff for me to struggle against... this girl don't know how to say no...and ends up creating more problems for herself... almost dozing off at my keyboard already... give me a break... Pressure from every direction possible...asking me why i'm still like this. I dunno, really. The harder i try, the worst it gets. People tell me, perhaps deep in my heart, i dont want it that way after all. Seeing his new smiling pics...somehow...makes the pain quite worthwhile...lol. As long as life is better now, anything goes. going to sleep...yawnzzzzz.... |
| allie ♥ 1:03 AM |
| Wednesday, February 20, 2008 |
Incompatible, it don't matter though 'cos someone's bound to hear my cry Speak out if you do you're not easy to find Is it possible Mr. Loveable is already in my life? right in front of me or maybe you're in disguise Who doesn't long for someone to hold who knows how to love you without being told somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone Here we are again, circles never end how do I find the perfect fit there's enough for everyone but I'm still waiting in line Who doesn't long for someone to hold who knows how to love you without being told somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone If there's a soulmate for everyone Most relationships seem so transitory They're all good but not the permanent one Who doesn't long for someone to hold who knows how to love you without being told somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone Who doesn't long for someone to hold who knows how to love you without being told somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone If there's a soulmate for everyone |
| allie ♥ 10:43 PM |
| Tuesday, February 19, 2008 |
every day is a struggle. tried so hard, yet it's only so. am i not trying hard enough???????? the tears wont stop coming................................ |
| allie ♥ 9:53 PM |
| Monday, February 18, 2008 |
Woke up early today and cooked this. My prettiest bento so far :). This is mine. .JPG) This is for Alanna.  Cooked: Black Pepper chicken Boiled Broccoli Boiled Squid Boiled Carrots With carrots, asparagus and furikake on rice. So proud of myself today. Cheered up an otherwise not-so-good day. Tattoo by Jordin Sparks Oh, oh, oh No matter what you say about love I keep coming back for more Keep my hand in the fire Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for No matter what you say about life I learn every time I bleed That truth is a stranger Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free To admit that I'm wrong And then change my mind Sorry but I have to move on And leave you behind I can't waste time so give it a moment I realize, nothing's broken No need to worry 'bout everything I've done Live every second like it was my last one Don't look back got a new direction I loved you once, needed protection You're still a part of everything I do You're on my heart just like a tattoo Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you I'll always have you, I'll always have you I'm sick of playing all of these games It's not about taking sides When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver It hurt enough to think that I could Stop, admit that I'm wrong And then change my mind Sorry but I gotta be strong And leave you behind (Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you I'll always have you) If I live every moment Won't change any moment Still a part of me and you I will never regret you Still the memory of you Marks everything i do Just like a tattoo I'll always have you |
| allie ♥ 9:33 PM |
| Sunday, February 17, 2008 |
Leona Lewis Lyrics Listen to your heart by DHT Listen To Your Heart I know there's something in the wake of your smile I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah you've built a love but that love falls apart your little piece of heaven turns too dark listen to your heart when he's calling for you listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do I don't know where you're going and I don't know why but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah they're swept away and nothing is what is seems the feeling of belonging to your dreams listen to your heart when he's calling for you listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do I don't know where you're going and I don't know why but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye and there are voices that want to be heard so much to mention but you can't find the words the scent of magic the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind listen to your heart when he's calling for you listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do I don't know where you're going and I don't know why but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye Listen to your heart....mm..mmm I don't know where you're going and I don't know why but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye |
| allie ♥ 4:21 PM |
| allie ♥ 10:28 AM |
| Saturday, February 16, 2008 |
2 whole days of beautifully peaceful me-time when there was nothing that can get me down... Post-Valentine's Day bento. Didnt make the hearts on purpose, did so cos i couldn't find my triangular mould. .jpg) Next week, Alanna and I are taking turns to make bento for each other. Saving money for the next month. Our boss even asked "times are hard ah?". Lol. 单纯的快乐. My kinda happiness. Rubin said Singaporean girls expect flowers on Vday. While i didnt expect anything this year, i got a nice bouquet of flowers and heart shaped homemade chocolates. Thanks alot, really. I told Rubin, for me, there's no need for flowers. There's nothing like a handmade bento meal or homemade chocolates that can make my day like it did. Valentine's Day. Supposedly a "go home and read book" day for me, but turned out to be a packed day of activities. Did my lashes, had dinner with Rubin, then went home to play with my poupee. The whole day in office, i was just too distracted with my online dolls and the little toys that the girls bought - Honey and Hana chan! Intended for this to be a one-liner blog post...but end up rambling on. Sometimes i wish it could be as easy how Jue made it sound. It just makes me wonder, what kinda person am i? How am i like, in your eyes? The girls in office have been great - encouraging, supportive and fierce when it mattered. I guess you all are right after all. All the times we've had, good or bad, i still love you all. I still hope i can find a better way of handling some office situations though...self-reflection time. And i'm not "popular" like you all said...lol. I dunno why things happen the way they did. Miss having Glyn in the office...she's such a sweet sweet girl. I guess things will change as time passes. I've always wanted to have more close girlfriends, but that isn't the case. I have more close guyfriends than girlfriends, perhaps cos i used to be "dao" like you all said. I hope i'm not now. You know what...i think the independent Allie doesnt seem like what she used to be. Why, i dunno. I'm searching...and searching...for who i am once again... |
| allie ♥ 11:40 AM |
| Thursday, February 14, 2008 |
Teardrops on my guitar by Taylor Swift...the song that's been on repeat in my playlist for today so far. Thanks for the Happy Vday wishes from everyone :) Though i hope to just let it pass quietly. It's just like any other day for me :). But for those who have plans to spend it in a more special way, hope you all enjoy yourselves. Happy Valentine's Day to all :). |
| allie ♥ 10:09 AM |
| Wednesday, February 13, 2008 |
The doubts i've had...were not unfounded...all came true...one..after..another.. Why do the people I care about seem to be leaving me...one by one... Why am i so fine one minute, and so not fine another... I'm sorry...for everything... Today's the third day of me and Alanna's bento date. Here it is. Hello Kitty...aint it cute. .jpg) Closer look at the contents  Today i cooked: Steamed egg with minced pork Boiled Broccoli Boiled button mushrooms Fried Seafood Shanty It's yummy, and i had a satisfying meal. Waking up early to cook takes loads of determination and discipline. But i love the end effect and the resultant meal, just according to my taste. My loss of weight became the topic of discussion at office today...cos the bosses noticed. Now when i came back, my mum noticed too. A colleague even told me not to lose anymore. Not that i'm trying. I'm not. And i'm cooking nutritious bentos these few days, and snacking like nobody's business. The aftereffect of not being able to eat for some time - excessive eating. |
| allie ♥ 9:49 PM |
| Tuesday, February 12, 2008 |
一句一次的承诺在现代似乎不够了 反复说我爱你 爱的人往往会在你忘记的那一次离开你 然后望着他的背影 说再多次我爱你以晚了 对的事对的人对的时机对的地方 是那么不容易 即使都对了还得看天... Read many words that resonated with me today. An article in My Paper made me engrossed in reading it for some time...about saying goodbye...will post it up soon. The words above, meant so much... On a different note...today me and Alanna made bento again! Our pact is to try to make bentos every day for ourselves :). Her sweet mummy even asked the maid to make some spring rolls for us to share! So nice :) Here's my bento for the day:  Made two sets...this is for my bro. Making two sets is more economical and reduces wastage so he's sorta "forced" to have them! Haha. His colleagues said it looked nice though...and said their sis cant even cook..lol. .jpg) This is mine :)  Today i cooked: Boiled Broccoli Boiled Prawns with sesame dip Yakiniku minced pork Can't bring myself to use my Winnie the Pooh bento box. Shall just keep it for memories sake. And let me tell you about this interesting encounter today. I was walking towards Raffles City on my way to meet my bro and when i was about to reach the glass door, there was a gal in front of me, and further in front, there was a guy holding the door for her and waiting for her to reach. So sweet! And they are strangers. What's more, he left the door for it to close when she'd entered. But when he saw me walking towards it, he said "sorry" and then turned to help me open the door! I really have not experienced such niceness in a stranger before...and i was really touched by the little move and had to blog this down. Seeing that, i muttered "omg, thanks!" and he smiled and walked away. Talk about little gestures that perk up your day...haha :) |
| allie ♥ 9:34 PM |
| Monday, February 11, 2008 |
Looking at my recent mug shots, i realised the amount of weight that has been lost...at least off my face. And i wasn't even trying to do that. Nobody's been hurting me...i've been hurting myself for thinking the way i've been thinking all this while... Suddenly thought of a song i used to sing when i was younger..."爱我的人和我爱的人" The lyrics just resonates with me...lol. Sometimes i wish i can hit the "delete all" button when clearing my smses...but i cant. A friend asked me what's my idea of a romantic date...and i said... having a nice walk at the beach enjoying hawker centre meals spending time doing nothing having relaxing chats cycling at east coast quiet picnics at the park cooking a meal with my loved one baking cookies/cupcakes with my loved one all these are romantic to me...as long as i love the company, doing anything is perfect... This is 单纯的快乐...my kind of happiness :) I dont need expensive restaurant meals, expensive gifts, or extravagant dates...it's the simple things in life that makes one truly happy. My 单纯的快乐...making bentos :) Finally i managed to make a bento for myself today. felt so happy...hee...here it is   I cooked: Hard boiled egg Boiled broccoli Yakiniku minced pork It's totally yummy! I love my own food...lol. Colleague commented that it looks cute...not too bad la...i think =X. |
| allie ♥ 1:38 PM |
| Sunday, February 10, 2008 |
1. My cousin goes to the same church :) 2. Not to focus on what is lacking, but on what you have in abundance 3. Everything you are facing now, is only temporal and many more things... I love the feeling when i come out of church...at peace, enlightened, inspired. It's interesting how the the topic relates to what you are facing :). I'm enjoying my New Year, and hope it'll be a great year for all :) Teardrops On My Guitar by Taylor Swift Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about And she's got everything that I have to live without Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny That I can't even see anyone when he's with me He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right, I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe? And there he goes, so perfectly, The kind of flawless I wish I could be She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light I'll put his picture down and maybe Get some sleep tonight He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do He's the time taken up, but there's never enough And he's all that I need to fall into.. Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see. |
| allie ♥ 3:32 PM |
| Friday, February 08, 2008 |
why are you still clinging on...to nothing???? |
| allie ♥ 1:41 PM |
| Thursday, February 07, 2008 |
    No idea why...but it hurts again. I give up. The harder i try, the worse it gets. I'm not going to try anymore...just gonna let it run naturally. As a person who is heart over mind...thinking just makes things worse. The more i think, the more i can't find my answers...cos the mind conflicts with the heart. Thinking back on the things i've done with my heart...there were many things. The schools i chose, the courses i took, everything was chosen by the heart. As much as mum always wanted me to go for the best schools, the the most lucrative courses, i couldn't. Because that wasn't what i truly wanted to do...and i couldn't do it. Things happen for a reason. Most of the time, mum would let me go with my heart. But at times when she intervened, usually it turned out fine. This time, when she told me she wanted me to be happy...it turned out a tad late. Everything that i wished to be accepted by her, it was eventually, but it came late. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be...and i've somehow accepted that. Hence, whatever will be will be, and i can only do my part...and try...and hope...that one day, things will turn out fine. How to define "fine"? I dunno. Perhaps it's a situation which i can accept and be happy with, and don't mind the status of things. Well, so i've decided to not think so hard. Whatever i wanna do, i will just do it. You can only live life once, once missed, it'll be gone. I need answers...though i can't get them up till now even though i've been trying. Before this, it didn't matter that much. Not i realise...it matters after all. Not to help me decide on what to do, but to answer the very questions that make all the doubts and thoughts continuously swimming in my head. Confronting my inner fears...a little paiseh to list them here right now...perhaps i will in time to come. |
| allie ♥ 5:13 PM |
Apologise by One Republic I'm holding on your rope, Got me ten feet off the ground I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound You tell me that you need me Then you go and cut me down, but wait You tell me that you're sorry Didn't think I'd turn around, and say... It's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late I'd take another chance, take a fall Take a shot for you And I need you like a heart needs a beat But it's nothin new I loved you with a fire red- Now it's turning blue, and you say... "Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you But I'm afraid... It's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late It's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late It's too late to apologize, yeah I said it's too late to apologize, yeah- I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground... Happy New Year to Everyone. Hope it'll be a better year than the last! Reunion dinner brought me through alot of thoughts and memories...so much that i quietly sat there and stoned while the rest are gambling...lol. Tomorrow will be a better day :) |
| allie ♥ 12:08 AM |
| Wednesday, February 06, 2008 |
no idea how to describe it...but... it hurts...badly... what can i do... sometimes i dont wanna be the sensible me anymore... i just wanna be wilful, notti, and do what i feel like doing... don't wanna think with my head anymore.. can i? i just want...i just want...sigh... i just want...我的简单爱... feel like just leaving everything behind and hop onto a plane to somewhere...where nobody can find me and nobody can be found... Happy Birthday Mummy...i love you Mummy... |
| allie ♥ 9:37 AM |
| Tuesday, February 05, 2008 |
This morning started in a hectic way. I was rushing out replies to an email which is really urgent as i had to furnish a reporter with answers to the questions so that she can get her article published in the paper in an hours time. As i was trying to meet her deadline, a senior of mine needed me to do something urgent and said that she required my help to read an article in Chinese. I asked her to send it to me and she did, but at that point, i have not received it. She called awhile later to ask if i had read the article. I said i havent, the mail just came in and i was busy replying to something very urgent, something that needs to meet the deadline of a paper at that point. I asked for 5-10 mins to settle the stuff before i start reading the article for her. She said ok. The next thing i knew, she immediately stormed out of her cubicle and asked for another colleague's help to read the article. And the colleague commented that she had a "sha ren" vibe. I have no idea what i did wrong. All i asked for was 5-10 minutes to finish up the urgent matter and i will be right over to do the urgent stuff for her. Yet, she was upset about the whole matter. I'm not complaining about anybody right now. I just dont know how i can better handle the situation. Is there any way i can do this without making anyone upset? I understand that the matter is urgent, that's why i only asked for 5-10 minutes. Yet, I seem to get on her nerves. I really dont know how i can make this better. Can someone tell me? There goes, morning ruined, rest of the day i kept thinking about the incident. And i happen to be one of the most junior ones around, so i guess i'm always inclined to being in the wrong when such things happen. I dunno anymore...what can i do? Tell me please... On a very different note, take a look at this : http://www.flickr.com/photos/93052519@N00/sets/72157602259075204/  I love all her bentos...and wish to make things like that too! They are lovely, lovely bentos :) Everytime i complain about how i still cant bring myself to make bentos, i get requests for bentos. Seems like everyone wants me to make bentos for them...haha. No offence really. But to me, bentos are made with love. And one can only bring oneself to make bentos for the ones she love, the significant other, close friends or family. I used to make bentos for someone, and i really enjoyed doing it. The process, the end product, and seeing the expression when he eats it. It's an amazing feeling...one that is quite painful when im recalling it now...as you all know what happened. I still cant bring myself to make bentos again...though seeing all those pretty boxes of inspiration really spurs me and make me wanna make bentos again. I used to love them so much, especially when there's someone who shares that love. My heart's aching at the thought of all these. Just a few moments ago, i was thinking of very different things that put me in a totally different mood. That's how easily my mood and thoughts change....so quick that i just get hit by it sometimes. Well, my point is...i can only make bentos when i feel like it. Especially when making for someone, there needs to be an element of love and care involved...at least to me. It's not a simple "just cook and eat" kinda meal...it's much more than that. For now, i'm pretty contented with just looking at the pretty boxes. Shall aim towards making bentos for myself first...hopefully soon, when i no longer wish to close the cupboard of bento boxes once i open it... |
| allie ♥ 10:39 PM |
| Monday, February 04, 2008 |
Mummy's birthday is on wednesday. But we went today cos it was the last day of operations for no signboard seafood, and so we went. As usual, we had crabs! As well as our favourite champagne chicken, asparagus and hong kong mee! Dad eating  Mum and bro .jpg) Stir fried asparagus...yummy! .jpg) Champagne chicken...it's really good! .jpg) Fried Hong Kong mee .jpg) Chilli Crabby! With my favourite fried mantou! .jpg) My plateful of crab shells =X .jpg) Was feeling terrible before and after the meal...didnt really talk much at the dinner table...though i tried to make conversation at times. Glad that mummy looks happier these days...and bro was also not so attitudinal today. Though we had a slight argument earlier...but as usual, we laughed it off. When i asked mum what she wanted for her birthday. She said "I just want you all to be happy". Tears threatened to fall again...i just wanna be left alone. Why do i get hit time and time again. On the ride home, i realised how easy it was if i were to call upon my mental strength to shut things out. It's like snap, and it's gone, things cleared, everything's fine. But at times when i allow myself to relax, everything comes back, flooding me with emotions, feelings, memories. It's tiring. It's a neverending struggle. It hasn't ended for me, i guess for him it probably did. Sometimes, it feels like an uphill battle, and i'm not moving at all...stuck, trapped, unable to move. This sux...yet people keep telling me that only time can heal. I dunno...i dunno anymore... |
| allie ♥ 11:07 PM |
Set my alarm at 6 in the morning...but i was soooo tired i couldnt wake up! At one point i even wanted to report sick and not go =X. But I decided not to ps Eileen and so i went. Finally woke up at 7 and took a cab down. The ulu Tanjung Beach was really hard to find. Here are some photos from the event :). The beautiful beach  Charlene and Eileen  Charlene and her friends, Qiao Yi, Weifeng  Eileen and I  Charlene and gang  The girls  Action photos!     It was a pretty happening event, better than what i've seen while i was in school. Kudos to the organisers! They even had ironman and doughnut eating contests...haha...and those brought loadsa laughter amongst the crowd. It was fun! But the rain threatened to fall, and just when i left, the rain started coming down in sheets, hope the event didnt suffer too much. After that, i went swimming at the Singapore Swimming Club. The pool was great, the water light and easy to glide through. Since it was my first time there, i was surprised by the facilities inside their washroom! They had a jacuzzi, a steam room, body lotion, hand lotion and even sunscreen! Pardon the suaku me...=X. Pity i'm not a member of the club, if not i would definitely go back more often...i love the pool! Havent swam seriously in a long time, and i did 22 laps, slightly short of what i expected to do, but still, it was a great workout! And now i'm aching all over. Don't quite like to swim too often and too intensively cos of the chunky shoulders i'm prone to getting. Like how i was last time in sec sch when i had really chunky shoulders from swimming. Oh well, swim in moderation now, or switch to breaststroke. But i do prefer freestyle though, less taxing, at least to me :). Yay...today boss say Wednesday no need to work. I can finally catch up on my zzzz's! Lastly, a picture from the Crusades BBQ Outing  |
| allie ♥ 8:00 PM |
| Friday, February 01, 2008 |
First day of February already...time really flies!! It was a relaxing day at work...everyone's abit "siao"...so the atmosphere was pretty good. Really nothing much to rant about today...just that i need to sit down and plan some of my finances...and to work out the stuff that i'll be doing in the near future. In short, i need to: 1. Learn Driving 2. Learn Japanese 3. Plan for my Bangkok trip 4. Plan for my possible Redang trip 5. Save for my year-end Japan trip 6. Plan on how to get my i-pod nano 7. Study and decide what insurance to buy 8. Plan my other finances, including bro's 21st birthday and mummy's birthday next week Haha...sounds like alot of cash is needed...need to do some thinking...and need to plan for another gathering!!! Oh no...so many things to do... Went to out of the pan at Raffles City for dinner today. To be honest, i'm pretty sick of restaurant food after i've been to PRima Tower Revolving Restaurant 5 times over the past month. Imagine eatng Peking Duck 5 times a month!! Even if it's nice, it would be not nice by the 3rd or 4th time already...haha. I would very much prefer hawker food now man. If anyone wants to ask me out for a meal, please choose a coffee shop or hawker centre please...i'm off restaurants now...at least for one or two weeks...haha. But surprisingly, i had a good time at out of the pan. I had seafood jungle crepe, which was full of prawns!! Too bad i forgot to take the pics of my dish. The potato salad was good and so was dessert! We had Jaffa stack waffles for dessert  It's really yummy! I love the orange chocolate chip ice cream. It's like orange sherbet with chocolate chip taste! Very refreshing and yummy. Justin was saying that he's glad to see me eating so much and laughing again. Haha....i'm glad too! Had a good day and i feel good! Hmmm...now down to the more serious stuff...need to book my tickets and do my research and finish my Gong Zhu Xiao Mei episode...=X |
| allie ♥ 11:37 PM |
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