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| Tuesday, May 04, 2004 |
fRoM StUdYinG .... tO wOrKiNg...wHeN cAn I rEsT...
*~...MoOd: SaDzZz...~*
tiReD........today seems real tiring...dunno why. Worked at level 4 today...business was really good.....in the morning....then it started getting quiet. After that...got transferred to level 2 again......but business sux there...even the seniors was just walking around idling. Customers today didnt realli buy....as compared to those of yesterday....yeah...so lidat lo.... Went out with him on Monday for dinner....went to marche. Well...didnt expect him to pay...though i would have liked him to.....and he didn't...as usual. He pissed me off again....this time round.....said some things that shud not have been said to girls.....i dun wish to repeat it...he shud noe what. And somemore....what he said is not the true reflection of the truth....so i was even more pissed. Irritated...always like to assume things....think that he know everything....and like to dismiss things instead of talking it out. I showed him my pissed face.....and ignored him abit.....then i told him...."why do u always say the wrong things at the wrong time". He went quiet. Knew he was thinking about what i said. I said him what he was thinking....why was he stoning.....he said no...nothing. Rubbish....i hate it whenever he try to avoid talking things like that face to face. Hate his courage................and guts. He got none to speak of. Especially when i ask....he better tell me...or else i will get even more pissed. Thinking about this just made me all flare up again. Know how i noe that he was thinking about it? Cos he called me at night to talk about it. Idiot....he messaged me initially to ask me to go online to talk over msn. I refused to...giving some stupid reason about not wanting to wake up my brother while using the computer....when the computer obviously wasnt in my brother's room. Haha. Yeah.....and i said......u want u call me...i'm not going online. Haha...seems like i can be a real pain at times...but i dun think i'm in the wrong to do that this time. I hate his guts....i realli do. He called me...said he got things to tell me......then he said..."Allie....i think i'm scared of you". Haha......i said...."yeah i know...why?" He said...."i dunno how to say". I blew my top again....."why is it that u know how to say over msn and not over the phone? I hate it whenever you do that....it doesnt make sense." Then he tried to say...put whatever he wanted to say into words....but just cant do it...then he told me "I just can't put into words....think i will tell u when i know how". Pengz......damn pissed already by now. Then i said "Alright then". He said "Take care...bye". I slammed down the phone after saying Bye. Seems like i still have aloooooot to complain. Oh well.....first thing......he did not ask me whether i wanted food when he went to get his....which a guy should ALWAYS do. Secondly.....he also never offer to pay first then get me to pay him back. Thirdly, he left my bag at the table and when to look for me when i was buying my food....duhhhhhh. Fourth, he ASKED whether i needed help with my bags....only after i carried for quite a long time. Fifth, he always dunno where he want to go. Sixth, he didnt know where he should for the movie (will elaborate later). Seven, he didnt offer to send the girl home....didnt even offer...but i expected that...cos of some reasons will elaborate later too. Eigth, didnt send girl home, neither did he ask the girl to call him when she reach home.....and he didnt call the girl to c whether she is home either. Ninth, it is sooooooo obvious that the girl is pissed and he didnt even ask about it. Just kept quiet....it sucks. Haha...talking to him on msn right now......onli giving one word answers...kinda enjoying it....but onli becos i'm in the one word mood....after complaining about him for soooooo long. Hiakz. Right.....a guy...should ALWAYS pick up the bill. i mean ALWAYS. And wait for the girl to offer to pay...then u can decide whether to accept. And knowing me...i would ALWAYS offer to pay...unless the guy said it was his treat already. Besides....a guy should ALWAYS hold the girl's bags for her....unless the girl said it wasnt necessary. When he asked whether i need any help with the bags....I said..."duh...this kinda thing need to ask meh".......he could onli afford the lame reason..."better ask ma.....need to be courteous abit". I rolled my eyes...and said" Well...YX will always say..."i get that for you"...and if i refuse....he will say..."no....i will get that for you". Haha.......i told him that.........and he took my bags for me. Went to watch movie after that.......after buying the tickets......he held the tickets....and he walked in the wrong direction...away from the direction we were suppossed to go.....before i decide to ask him....cinema number? Then he was like..."huh....?". Then i asked again...."which cinema?" Then he said...."5" Haha....i asked...."So where is cinema 5?" He looked in front...then looked behind.....and gave me the sheepish face. I gave him my pissed off look again........haha...turned around...and walked back. When we sat down in the cinema.......i told him...."I realli wonder where's your brain today". hahaha..........so fun to make fun of him....but he neva fails to piss me off whenever we go out.....and it made me realise some things to....that he does lack certain critical stuff that i thought guys should have. And i have NEVER met a guy like him....in the sense that he fails to do alot of stuff that i expect. ALL....and i mean ALL my guy frens will do stuff like...offer to carry bags.....foot the bill.....send the girl home.....help the girl buy food........take the lead......and let the girls follow them instead of following behind the girl.....and offer treat most of the time.......oh ya......and not be "geh gao".....Sighz....seems like it's either i have a skewed impression of guys....or he is an exception. I always get treated by guys like dat...that's why i realli expect that from him as well....but i didn't get that. Sigh........i realli wonder....what am i doing with this guy man........maybe i should just move on.....sighzzzz..... Came up with a list of essential qualities in a guy 1. Must be gentlemanly....who will take care of the girl 2. Must offer to foot the bill...then wait for girl to offer to pay 3. Must carry bags for girl 4. Must offer to see girl home.....or else ask girl to call him when she reach home...or call her to make sure she is home 5. Must take the lead....at least offer suggestions..... 6. Need to give a sense of security 7. Need to keep composure 8. Cannot be "geh gao" 9. Must offer to buy food for girl....or order for the girl.... 10. Must be able to start some interesting or intellectual conversations 11. Treat the girl at times 12. Must see the girl home...especially when it's a date He said his last girlfren complained he didnt see her home. And alot of times he din wanna drive cos he dun wanna see her home...pengzzzz when i heard dat man. He also said that he wud try to go to places which are more accessible by mrt or bus in order not to see her home. When i heard this ar.........i was thinking "what kinda guys is this man??????". Sighz....yeah...it's true. The more i talk about this....the more i wonder what am i doing with this guy man........sighzz. And dat's why i didnt expect him to see me home either. Also....what guy will get a girl to HELP him buy things and not pay her back???? I mean....the girl's HELPING you buy and not buying FOR you.....at least offer to pay......and if she refuse...then it's fine...if not...then pay her back. He always seem to take things for granted.....and i always help him buy things without getting paid back. People help buy things because they wanna help..not becos they wanna treat alright. Sometimes...people might need the money...and if u dun pay them back that time...they might not buy for u the next time round lo. Piangz...this kinda things dun need me to say one right. And whenever he HELP me buy something....i will ALWAYS offer to pay back lo. Unless he bought it for me without me asking one....and it was him who wanted to buy...not me. Though he never take my money most of the time....but at least i offered lo. Sighzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. My guy frens ALWAYS offer to pay me back one....i might take...n i might refuse. YX does...matt does...jared does....rubin does.....ZM does too. Sigh.....everyone does lo. No wonder YX said he still got a lot to learn from YX in terms of being a gentleman. At that point....i thought he was being chauvinistic....cos i compared YX to the rest of my guy frens...expecting "him" to be like my guy frens too. Little did i noe that i was waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy wrong man. Haha.......this happened to be an exception. That's why i always get pissed whenever we go out. Sighzzz........this made me think....are all these qualities essential in a guy? Since i'm already so used to it....and that all my guy frens have these qualities......i think the answer shud be yes. Dun think it's the money problem....cos i wud offer to pay everytime....unless the guy dun want....but it's in the way things are being done. There seems to be a HUGE problem in that........i think so.....cos i dun get what i expect....sorta making it hard for me to actually feel relaxed...happy.....worry-free...whenever i go out with him. I must always keep things in check...see whether we are going in the right direction....decide on the places to go...places to eat......and all. I wanna relax man......and be led around...for once..... Will always seek to be the little girl...and one to be taken care of.....whenever i go out with someone....but it seems like that cannot be the case with him....i dun understand. But oh well.....if that is what it will be......then i realli dunno anymore...back to square one......whenever i think things are okay.....something will happen to screw things up.....and whenever i think things are screwed up......something happens to turn things round again. Sighzzz........this is going in circles....but time is ticking away.......think i have gotten to know more about this person since the last episode. Both good stuff and bad stuff... If only he is more gentlemanly...like YX...onli that YX overdoes it a little....but i wud rather he overdo it than underdo it. Really.....sighzzzzzzz........all the if onlys.....what if he can NEVER do it? Then i dunno....i guess i realli cannot handle that then....and will just have to let it go.... Tired....wanna sleep....slept alot yesterday......veri good....realli looking forward to my rest day tomorrow!! And my ktv session on thursday! Hee.....going mambo tomorrow too...so exciting...finally i'm having a life now. He's asking me about what i'm complaining on my blog right now...think he noes...cos i refuse to tell him about this...when i tell him about everything else......let him go wonder then. I think he will come ask me later la. But dun wanna talk to him abt this now...he has a paper tomorrow....see how la...it seems like everytime i wanna talk to him seriously i'm complaining to him about him....it seems rather cruel huh. I realli dun wanna do it....but i cant help it when it is a huge problem...at least in my point of view. Wonder if i'm being petty...or asking too much.......sighhhhhhhzzzzzzz......... will go reflect on my own expections and actions....mian bi si guo....haha......but now...i realli dun think i am expecting too much leh...only the basic qualities lo...those that my other guy frens have that he doesnt........well..................reflection time for now.... went to look for ger's pressie yesterday...spent a goddamn long time at the stupid perfume shop hor. Couldnt make up my mind......aLMOST for the davidoff cool water....then i read today on ur blog saying that u r getting sick of it...haha. Then how now.....some choices i considered include kenzo leau par....veri nice....u go try.....and anna sui dolly....and my ralph lauren...and j lo still......ralph lauren blue also quite nice leh by the way..... and lancome's miracle too......was even thinking of getting a couple of minatures instead....cos i cudnt make up my mind....but then decided against it too...cos not too worth it ma. If u realli sick of it liao better tell me hor...of the davidoff thingy......then i definitely will not buy it. Look for something else instead. Okiez......that's all for now........... |
| allie ♥ 6:56 PM |
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