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| Wednesday, August 26, 2009 |
Sometimes the more you do for a person, the more the person won't see or appreciate. Favour by works - this theory doesn't seem to work. At times when you fail, and just release the control outta your hands, that's when you'll see things fall into place. Looking at the various life experiences, like exams...the better i think i'd do, the worse the results. And when i think i failed and did horribly, i came out with flying colours. Sounds like a weird theory...but...it seems to work. In terms of relationships, the ones i try the least, turned out well without much effort. Well, not completely without effort, but without trying against the flow, against myself, against my heart. I wonder though, why does trying not work, why does doing more not yield better results, better relationships? The truth is...i know it in my heart...lol. Somehow, a part of the peace came from the fact that i know i did everything i could. Did i withheld anything? No...none at all. Pushed to the limit, there was nothing that i did not consider or do my best for....hence the resignment too. *laughs bitterly*. Oh well. When a loved one fails, do you move to correct him/her or do you love him/her into wholeness and let your love transform? I'm guilty of the former...usually too quick to correct, to reprimand...and fail to take a step back and understand from their point of view. Perhaps by loving them, being patient, understanding would be a much better option. Results may not be seen immediately, but im sure seeds were sown in their hearts. Thinking about the times i was reprimanded by my loved ones...it just got me more hot-headed, more stubborn. Yet the times when they softened and logically analyse the situation with me, that's when im most willing to listen. When you look at yourself in the mirror in a loving way, somehow that transforms you to be someone better. A person's upbringing is often shown in the way they react to and handle things. Someone close i know may have been told many negative things about himself when young, treated in an unkind manner and heard many unkind words....somehow it shows in the way they treat people. Just like how i'm quick to reprimand and correct, how i'm picky on things and how i'm easily emotional, cry and anger easily. This mirrors someone close....so alike.... I told myself i don't want to be a parent like this...cos my kids would likely end up this way and that's not what i want. There's still a long road ahead, a fulfilling life to live and many more things to do. Mummy once told me "你是妈咪的宝贝。你会找到爱你的人，会很开心的". How rare is it that mummy will say these words to me. But when she does, my tears flowed immediately...not of sadness, but of joy...joy of being loved...joy of knowing how much i'm loved. Knowing how much you're loved makes you appreciate your loved ones alot alot more....
Working on a new personal project...am hoping it'll be done soon. Haha...looks like i'll be shopping alone very often! |
| allie ♥ 11:05 PM |
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Allie. Love. Princess
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Silly me went to buy these tau sar piah just to get a feel of how it tastes like to be at the receiving end. And the answer is...heartwarmingly sweet =).