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| Saturday, January 26, 2008 |
Just had a talk with mummy again...this time about finances...mine and the household's. It's about time for me to do something about it...and i am gathering information and resources to do that. Just that mum doesnt know...and she thought i wasn't doing anything about it. Sigh...i guess parents never stop worrying do they? I told her to trust me...cos i've been doing what i should do...but it will take time. She feels stressed...like everyone needs her care and control. I can totally understand why...especially when she said we dont talk to her anymore. That's why i spent another hour or so sitting and listening to what she has to say...till she felt tired and wanted to sleep. I wish she knew that if she wanted to talk, i would be most willing to sit there and listen to her. And that was the reason why she complained after walking outta my bro's room, i immediately went over to talk to her. She said we face our computers too much, wake up too late, come back too late, no time to talk to her. I admit, i'm guilty of that. For the past week, i've been coming home late and for the past few weekends, i'm barely at home. I explained to her why...that i needed to do that in order to keep myself sane and in check...she understood. Actually, alot of things just require a tiny bit of effort in communicating and it will solve many problems. Yet it's something that is lacking in the relationships between people. I'm finally beginning to understand...and i hope what i'm trying to do now...she can see that i'm making effort. i love my mummy and wouldnt trade her for anything else in the world. She's probably the only person i would wholely listen to...even though i appear to contend with her advice. I wished she knew...in her heart...though i've told her many times...but she doesnt seem to believe truly in it. Have i been doing too little? I wonder. I really should try harder...and try to get my bro to do so as well. It takes time though...to get everything right. After all, i've just graduated not long ago. Perhaps i was late in learning alot of things...things which people have already put in place before they graduated. But every person's situation is different. I would just say i tried to do whatever i could within the circumstances given. I wish mummy could stop worrying so much...an almost impossible task i know...but i still hope that one day she can do so. Seeing her worries, her thoughts, her burden just made me forget everything that i was experiencing. She was worried that i was having problems at work. But work for me, is fine at this point. The people in my office helps alot as there is minimal politics...it's like a girls school! Yep, so that makes things a whole lot easier, less problems too. I wish my bro could plan ahead abit more. Seeing how he manages finances can give me a huge fright. I hope things get better... Now to my own situation, need to put my foot down and really do the things i'm supposed to do. Read more, find out more and get down to making plans. It sounds exciting...yet challenging and intimidating. Yet...it seems full of purpose...kinda cool too. Haha...i don't know what im writing anymore. Random thoughts again...probably don't make much sense. I do have such days...hahaha...bear with me! Took this off XY's blog: "Don’t blame these promises-breaking narrators, for we all know that there is an understated clause in between their lines that states the validity of these expressions." Can't help but agree with it :) |
| allie ♥ 11:09 PM |
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