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| Saturday, January 19, 2008 |
Met with my "bro" Zuoming yesterday...haven't met him in a looong looong time already, so we decided to meet up for dinner! Still remember that in uni, he was my bro, soccer kaki, mj kaki and dinner buddy. Pity that he moved out after some time...so nobody to watch soccer with me after that :(. 7pm at work yesterday, i totally had no mood nor mind to do anything more. So i decided to just put down everything and get out of the office. Msged him that i was leaving my office, and in 5 minutes i've reached Suntec, our meeting place. He got a huge shock cos he thought i will take more time than that to reach. Haha...little did he know that my office is just 5 minutes away from Suntec! We had two choices for dinner - Waraku or Kuishin-bo. As we were lazy to walk all the way to Marina for Waraku, we ate at Kuishin-bo. It's been a good few years since the last time i've been here. This was the first time i'm having dinner there...and the food seemed to have changed quite abit. The sushi spread  First round! I took some sashimiiiii while he got sushi.  Nabe...paper steamboat!  My second round...soft shell crabby and sashimiiii again!  And after a few more plates....dessert! I love chocolate...so everything is chocolate! Yummy yummy  His dango, mango pudding and cakes.  All in all, i had a great time chatting with him for about 3 hours or so. Talked about everything under the sun, our uni mates, jobs, holidays, friends, family, relationships etc. Listening to him talk about his Europe trip really make me very "gian" to go Europe! The wonders of travelling...if i have enough cash i would definitely want to travel round the world. Perhaps sometime in future...a trip overseas alone too. But first things first...gotta plan for my Japan trip and save up! Yesterday at work was sian day for me. I was feeling sian...like dont feel like talking yet there are alot of things trapped with me. Feel "men men de". I have no idea why. Perhaps the inner battle at work...no overwhelming emotions...more resigned than anything. I'm beginning to get used to this feeling...the "sianness". The things i do helps to take my mind off things...but however it's only temporary. Feel worse after whatever i did actually. There are many things i wished to rant about...but somehow...ranting makes me cry. Perhaps i should just zip for the time being...and suppress that negative feeling. The pain doesnt go away...it's always there. I know it's been some time...but looking at Zm, it's still there too after more than a year. This sets me wondering when will it go away. As a friend said "the more you want it to go away, the harder it is to disappear". Perhaps...it is true. People keep asking me to go for the bbq...i dunno whether to go, or not. I don't think i can muster the courage to face the group...at least not yet. It's still hurting bad...and i dont wish to undo all the effort that has been put in. As i'm writing this, my mood seems different...i sound different too. No idea why. I guess sometimes being forced to accept things you dont wanna accept makes one feel like this. Especially when i dont understand alot of things...so many questions unanswered...so many doubts not cleared. I guess a part of me will always feel xin ku this way. Sometimes i wish i could blame it on someone...but knowing me...i cant bring myself to do that. Everything is just my fault...blame me. Letting go without any answers or closure is extremely tough...but i've got no chance. I tried to get the answers...but it just wont come. Too bad. I need a holiday...badly. I need some time to myself...just me only. |
| allie ♥ 10:27 AM |
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